Day 38

(Sorry for missing yesterday, I was a bit under the weather.)

As expected, the fervor about the financial crisis has quieted somewhat, at least for the moment. No headlines on Berkeley's website, the SF Chronicle, or the student paper about the budget. No fliers posted in the ladies room about making plans to take Yudoff to the gallows. No new emails about our furlough, the efficiency consulting firm recently hired, the union, or capital projects on campus. No talk of another walkout, protest, or strike. On the surface, things appear quite ordinary today.

But personally, the budget situation is really getting to me. I feel discouraged by my chipped away income and stagnant position. Our graduating seniors and PhDs are going to have a terrible time finding jobs for themselves, and there isn't much we can do to help them. Admissions for our new graduate students will be tougher because of dramatically cut fellowship budgets, and our once elaborate spring open house will be whittled down from Bay Area touristy outings to some chips and dip out on the lawn. Class sizes are increasing, and that can't do anything positive for the quality of the education of our students who will soon be paying far more in tuition than they ever expected when they enrolled. My boss looks bedraggled from her hours and hours pouring over department budgets and account balances, and tells me to not even ask about any budgets that I need for the upcoming year, because she just has no idea what, if anything, will be available. Staff are all on edge, and I must hear or say at least fifty times a week, "well at least we have jobs," a statement that sounds like celebrating something that is just one step above really crappy, which to most of us, it is. This isn't the first budget crisis or economic downturn, nor will it be the last. However, this time, the university is going through serious and permanent change, and many of the changes are not for the better. Perhaps the gloomy gray skies above me today are contributing to my particularly pessimistic view of the University's future, but financial stress and the decay of things we value can get to anyone after a while.