Day 18

This morning, a new member of our faculty came to the office wondering what she's supposed to do about the walkout next week. Is she supposed to be canceling her classes? Is everyone or no one going to participate? Who is she supposed to talk to? One staff member suggested she ask the department manager. Well, the way the walkout has been framed is Us vs. Them, so I'm not sure administrators are the right people to ask. I suggested that she is allowed to make the decision for herself whether to cross picket lines and hold classes as promised to her students, or join in the fight and meet on Sproul Plaza at noon. She says that "people" have been asking her whether she's going to have class next week. I'm not sure whether these people are students or her colleagues, but her facial expression seemed to express a bit of confusion, and she seemed to have the desire to just do what she's expected to do without fuss. I'm sure many on campus plan to just ignore the whole thing and go about business as usual, leaving the action and arguing to others. I don't think that we, as a campus nor as a university system, really have that option.

This afternoon, while working at my computer, my left arm started to go numb. First my pinky, then on to other fingers, and up my arm into my elbow and shoulder. The numbness and pain were in no way severe--I could still move and grasp things as normal--but a bit alarming just the same. This is a commonly known early-warning symptom for stroke or heart attack, so naturally, I took it seriously. I dug through my purse, found my health insurance card, called my doctor's office, and was connected to a help nurse. She spent 10 minutes on the phone with me asking the important questions to determine if the problem is urgent (my answers all pointed to non-urgent), helping me figure out the problem (probably just a pinched nerve or tense muscles), telling me what to watch for (if it worsens, or doesn't go away), and how to help it for the time being (take an Advil and do some stretches). She offered a few times to make me an appointment, but we both agreed that it would be fine if I just wait it out a bit and see if anything persists or worsens. Panic and crisis averted. Since the problem is probably related to bad posture/repetitive motion/lack of proper ergonomics setup in my office, or something like that, I can now register for a class on campus or ask my supervisor to have someone come evaluate my work space and work habits to help me be healthier and safer. But what if I had been laid off during this crisis, and was at home or out and about looking for a job, without health insurance or other employer benefits, and felt this similar left-arm numbness? I could be risking my entire financial future if I even stepped foot in an emergency room and started accruing charges and fees that I had no hope of paying. I could have worried myself into a frenzy about what I should do, whether I would be OK, Googling like mad, probably making myself feel even worse in the process. So while the whole thing turns out to be no big deal, if I imagine a dramatic worst case scenario, my life and future could have been at serious risk if these resources were not part of my life. During normal economic times, I might take these resources and my job for granted. But at this moment, I realize how easily I could lose it all.